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Genesis 30:25-36 Jacob said to Laban, "Send me on my way so I can go back to my own homeland. Give me my wives and children, for whom I have served you, and I will be on my way. You know how much work I've done for you."
But Laban said to him, "If I have found favor in your eyes, please stay. I have learned by divination that the LORD has blessed me because of you." He added, "Name your wages, and I will pay them."
Jacob said to him, "You know how I have worked for you and how your livestock has fared under my care. The little you had before I came has increased greatly, and the LORD has blessed you wherever I have been. But now, when may I do something for my own household?"
"What shall I give you?" he asked.
"Don't give me anything," Jacob replied. "But if you will do this one thing for me, I will go on tending your flocks and watching over them: Let me go through all your flocks today and remove from them every speckled or spotted sheep, every dark-colored lamb and every spotted or speckled goat. They will be my wages. And my honesty will testify for me in the future, whenever you check on the wages you have paid me. Any goat in my possession that is not speckled or spotted, or any lamb that is not dark-colored, will be considered stolen."
"Agreed," said Laban. "Let it be as you have said." That same day he removed all the male goats that were streaked or spotted, and all the speckled or spotted female goats (all that had white on them) and all the dark-colored lambs, and he placed them in the care of his sons. Then he put a three-day journey between himself and Jacob, while Jacob continued to tend the rest of Laban's flocks.
What the hell is wrong with this dude? He tricks Jacob into working for him for 14 years, twice the original agreed upon time, won't let him go home, then runs off with the wages he promised him. It must have been a nightmare living back then. You'd have to always be on your guard or else someone else would totally swindle you for all you're worth. Even your best friend, or your own mother, or probably even yourself! You'd trick so many people so much that you'd end up screwing yourself over in the end on accident. It's like a reality show 24/7, and Laban just got immunity. Balls in your court now, Jacob!
Jacob really dodged a bullet there when he turned down that
pet monkey
. Apparently they’re really crappy pets. LITERALLY! They crap everywhere and then throw their poo at you. Also, they’re needy little bastards- they require constant attention. If you leave them alone for more than two seconds, they’ll sprout wings and tear your scarecrow to pieces.
Also, they bite:
No wonder Laban was trying to get Jacob to take that monkey off his back- yet another example of what a total dick that guy is. So why do people even want monkeys? Because they look like….
A BABY!!
In my opinion, this is a terrible reason to get any pet, especially an actual baby.
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